Managing.

Writing is supposed to be cathartic so I thought I’d jot down a few notes about how I manage the depression and M.E.

Went to the osteopath today because I was in some pain. It’s part of the maintenance and upkeep. As usual after the osteopath I’m pretty low tonight and on the verge of tears. Taking regular painkillers. Can’t take Brufen because of my asthma. Big old bummer, because they are such effective painkillers. I can take Cocodamol though, and am at the doctor’s next week so might mention it then.

However I re-arranged the pedicure, which was going to be tomorrow, and have cried off the knitting get together tonight. Will see if I am able to get to the sewing course on Saturday – I’d really like to go, because it’s making a Japanese Knot Bag and matching purse, but if I’m not up to it, then I’m just not.

Such decisions sound a bit sad, but in fact once I’ve decided that I need to cancel stuff, I actually feel a bit better about things. Not exactly in control of my health, just managing it better. I don’t like to feel that it’s managing me. Even though it probably is. Mm.

I’ve been sleeping a lot. Most of Tuesday. Managed to have a shower and wash my hair on Wednesday. Then had a half hour sit down, and did my ironing. I do it every week, and hubby does his own, so it only takes about 25 minutes maximum. Then lunch, and then did the online shop. So quite a lot achieved yesterday. But the afternoon sleeps are long. At least three hours, sometimes four. Then I sleep all night too.

Might consider a bath and face pack tomorrow. Will see how I wake up. I very, very rarely have a bath. We have some nice bubble bath though and it does help relax my back.

I have two go-to authors whose books I read when I feel like this. Bill Bryson, who is just one of my favourite writers, and Tom Cox. Ditto. Can’t help smiling as I read their stuff.

Retail therapy always helps too, so have ordered a couple of tops (reduced) from Warehouse. Two different colours, and two different sizes, so we shall see if I like the colours and if they fit.

Hubby is off to a meeting tonight so I shall watch some crappy tv. No knitting mojo at all at the moment, and booked in for steroid injections into the knuckles of my right hand on Monday. Will see how things go after that.

Christmas almost organised. Thank goodness for the internet. A bit of baking to do, but nothing major. Last year I did a Yule Log which is fat free, therefore dairy free. It was delicious and both hubby and I liked it, which is a bonus. He doesn’t like fruit cake so if I made a proper Christmas cake I’d just eat it all and put on loads of weight. And am going to do some mince pies only in filo pastry as I have some in the freezer. Everybody else can eat normal ones from the shop, but the dairy free ones from the shop tend to be cheap and nasty.

Just thinking aloud

Today I was going to go to a local craft fair, to one particular stall, run by a young woman who comes to the knitting group. She’s very young, 16 at the most, and a crochet whiz. She’s absolutely amazing. Fast as lightning, and doesn’t use a pattern either. She makes the most beautiful crochet animals, with a Japanese twist, just out of her head. I’d really like to support her, and was thinking of getting some of her creations for Christmas or birthday presents.

But today’s not a good day. I helped put away the shopping, and had a shower and got dressed, and that’s it. That’s me done for the day. The tremor is quite bad today and I’m all of a doo-dah. Bit weepy and pathetic. Used some of my Chanel No 5 talcum powder after my shower. Washed my hair and everything. Small things to make me feel better.

So I made us both a cup of tea, and sat down at the computer and played Solitaire for a while, then a game of Mahjong with a particular tile set I like (it has Greek letters and Roman numbers, so bends my brain in a different way from the usual Mahjong pictograms).

I’m seeing the doctor in about ten days, and need to speak to her about how low I’ve been. Not sure what she’ll suggest, as I’m on almost the highest dose of antidepressants anyway. But we shall see.

There is some gardening to do – planting a rose and a medlar tree, both gifts, which I’m really looking forward to. But I know that it would just not be wise to do it today. Tomorrow and Monday are forecast to be fine and even sunny, so one of those days perhaps.

The bathroom needs a thorough cleaning, and that’s in the plan too. Not nearly as much fun as gardening though, huh.

Have been knitting things and am pleased with what I’ve made. Just started on a pair of socks for YD. I’ll post photos when they’re done. Fabulous yarn. West Yorkshire Spinners DK. Plain for the welts/heels/toes, and printed for the leg and body. Lovely to knit with.

Also re-organised my earring storage. Next up is necklace storage – special hooks ordered.

20150403_113116  20150403_114522

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have been having problems with the network/hi-fi system, but it seems to be sorted now. A bit Heath-Robinson, because there’s a 30 metre ethernet cable trailing across the lounge/hall/study, so that the DS is connected directly and physically to the router. You’d think, in this day and age, that there’d be something a bit less messy. Plans to get it done properly and surface mounted, with proper cable. I’m thinking we need STP (Shielded Twisted Pair) rather than UTP (Unshielded Twisted Pair) because it will be a permanent installation, so doesn’t need to be particularly flexible, but does need to resist interference. Need to talk to the installers. It’s been doing my head in, because his music so important for hubby. It would be for me like not being able to knit. So I like to make sure, if I can, that it all works.

I’m sick to death of the election already. Promises, promises, promises. Hmph.

Oh well. That’s it really for today.

Forgot.

I meant to say on yesterday’s blog, and then forgot. Last week I had an ME/CFS crash. It involved sleeping most of every day and then all night. I had to cancel everything I’d planned to do and just leave it till I got better. Some days I couldn’t even shower and dress, because that’s a major “task” when I’m like that. It’s easy to feel depressed and useless, too, but I decided it would just pass. It took all week, but it did pass.

I thought I had been very careful, having a sleep every afternoon and only doing one “thing” a day, but clearly not. I suppose it builds up over time. I had already had to stop going to the knitting group twice a week, and have started going on Thursdays one week, and Saturdays another week.

But there we are.