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Modest Goal Achieved

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Yes. I actually got up, showered, washed my hair And Got Dressed today. First time since Sunday. Hubby and I both seem to have some sort of virus. Not Covid, but we’re both tired and very floppy. We had been to the recycling centre on Friday. You have to book a slot, and we were both masked and gloved, but it’s the only place I can imagine we caught anything.

Dairy: I have a “Milk Ladder” pictogram, but am seriously thinking of not doing it. For one thing, I feel loads less bloated and have no tummy ache now I’m off all dairy, and have lost 6lbs in weight.

Handicrafts: tried, and failed spectacularly, to convert some skinny jeans to straight jeans. I’d got the inserts ready and everything, but after spending hours and hours and hours struggling, getting fraught, sweaty, and my hands protesting loudly, I gave up. The net result was one pair of jeans with the leg seams undone. Bought a new pair instead. Yeah. Just tried them on and they are FAB so I have ordered two more pairs. My current jeans are old and starting to fall apart, even though (or maybe because) I love them, so need new ones. The pair which has arrived is going in the wash tomorrow.

Not been able to knit or crochet for weeks now. I have a telephone appointment with the doctor tomorrow, so hopefully will end up being referred to the specialist. I also have pins and needles in the fourth and pinky fingers of my right hand, as well as the arthritis, and pain from the bottom knuckle of my thumb down to my wrist. At least three different things going on there. Hmm. Left hand is starting to hurt too. Oh joy.

The weather is cold and it is snowing intermittently, in a desultory way. It’s not sticking, though.

We have seen some seriously good films. The Irishman – an Irish guy who gets involved with The Mafia. Long (three and a half hours) but very involving. The Two Popes – Benedict XVI and Francis – loved it. Particularly loved all the different languages you get to hear (French, Italian, Spanish, Latin) – although my Latin is rusty to say the least! The Popes are played by two British actors (Anthony Hopkins and Jonathan Pryce) so it was a joy to hear them say how exhausting it is to speak English – so many rules and so many exceptions! Also Mary Queen of Scots. Very good. Very well done. Not exactly historically accurate, but hey, it’s a film. It’s not meant to be.

Had to go back to bed this morning for another little sleep. Got up, dressed etc, and had some lunch. Now I’m sitting doing this with a cup of tea. May need yet another sleep this pm but decided I would just do what my body suggests and not beat myself up about it.

Time to go and read a bit. I have a magazine which appeared this morning and two different books, one a library book (Henning Mankell – not a Wallander story) and one a book I’ve bought (Mary Queen of Scots by Antonia Frasier). Also just finished Disloyal by Michael Cohen. Blimey. That was hard to read. It’s a mea culpa but also brutally honest. He’s a hard man to like but I do appreciate his bravery in writing it. Could only manage to read one chapter at a time, though, because it’s so intense. I’ve also read Rage by Bob Woodward, and two books on Trump by Michael Wolff. Fire and Fury and Siege, I think. Again, intense and difficult.

Happy Things

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I’ve started watching stuff on YouTube to cheer myself up – sometimes cute animal stuff (eg huge golden labrador frightened of tiny little new kitten), mostly comedians.

My favourite comedians are, in no particular order, Aisling Bea, Frankie Boyle, Dara O’Briain, Susan Calman, Sarah Millican, Billy Connolly, and Jack Whitehall. They always, always cheer me up.

I’m also reading, as well as Manda C Scott’s Rome series (god I love these stories), a book by Dara O’Briain about his tour of the UK which is hilarious.

Tomorrow I have no chores to do so might get some knitting done. Also fancying this: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/07-origami-shawl when my hand is fixed. In this yarn: https://www.woolwarehouse.co.uk/yarn/king-cole-cottonsoft-baby-crush-dk-coffees-2873-100g

Thinking of knitting it half the width and maybe 3/4 the length. I’ve ordered 4 balls of yarn (100% cotton) and there are 210 metres on each ball. So I’ll just keep going I think, making sure the pattern is symmetrical lengthways too.

In the meantime I have the Pimpelliese shawlette to finish (taking me ages because I can only do a bit at a time, and not every day), then a jumper and a jacket for LCS (who will be 6 in November), then a jumper for hubby. Always plenty on my list of knitting things to do!

 

Things are happening . . . . .

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Finally had to give up gardening. But it’s all fine, because after some major research we have found a gardener. He gets excellent reviews. Young, wispy beard, skinny ripped jeans and big old Doc Martin style boots. Liked him instantly. They’re coming next Tuesday.

And the garden currently looks ok. A bit shaggy, but there you are.

Also managed to get some shots of the jays. I can’t post videos on this site because I use the free version, but have captured a couple of stills. That’s our washing line in the middle of the picture. The picture with two jays in is a nano-second before the bully pigeon flies in to frighten them off. It works. Hate pigeons.

No news on the steroid injections for my hands. I need to speak to the doctor next week anyway so will mention it then.

The plumber is coming today to sort out the leak in our small bathroom. Hey ho.

Also have invested in speakers and a microphone for the Zoom meetings so that hubby can join in on the same login – on a desktop screen you can see a lot more people than on a tablet screen, which has a maximum of 4. Am going to test it out today.

 

Things I’m doing slightly differently

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For a start, I’m setting the alarm clock so I actually get up every morning. It’s for 9.30 a.m., so not exactly early, but fine for me. If I don’t set the alarm, I just sleep till mid-afternoon. Not great.

Going for a small walk every day. Hubby devised a shorter walk than the 10 minute one, which takes me 4 – 5 minutes. It’s for when I just can’t manage the 10 minute one, and it works a treat.

Noticing  what’s going on in people’s gardens. Particularly at this time of year (spring in the UK), there are lots of things bursting into leaf/flower.

Knitting with a slightly different technique, keeping my index and middle fingers together, which doesn’t hurt so much. My middle finger keeps trying to point nor’nor’east instead of due north (assuming my other fingers are pointing north, if you see what I mean). I have to make a real effort, and sometimes actually pull it back with my other hand! What on earth? Arthritis I guess.

Ordering stuff online. To date, a web cam for hubby and one for me, some plants which haven’t arrived yet, some compression gloves, various new tops (yay!) and a new hand- held electric mixer.

Trying to eke out the painkillers because they’re just so damn hard to get. My lovely friend brought me two packets yesterday and left them in our porch. It’s her birthday today. Happy Birthday you legend! you know who you are.

Attempting not to get too panicked about the pandemic. Harrumphing of course about Trump and his determination to make it clear that he really is the stupidest man on this planet. Glad Bojo is on the mend, though he must have been much worse than they let on.

Not beating myself up for the stuff I can’t do. Trying not to moan about, or even mention, the aches and pains of getting older. Not interesting to anybody except potentially the medics. And even then, they have more important things to worry about.

Looking forward to planting the double cosmos seeds I have. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, which will make the earth easier to work, so maybe this weekend. Yeah!

And finally a picture of the lion I knitted for my great-nephew, whose name means “lion”. It was his birthday last week, so now he’s actually seen it. He loves it. It’s called Lucy, so a non-binary lion. Bit hairy for a lioness, but hey, what can you do. Apparently there was trouble when he discovered she’s not allowed in the bath, or to eat his Weetabix. Yeah.

 

Managing.

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Writing is supposed to be cathartic so I thought I’d jot down a few notes about how I manage the depression and M.E.

Went to the osteopath today because I was in some pain. It’s part of the maintenance and upkeep. As usual after the osteopath I’m pretty low tonight and on the verge of tears. Taking regular painkillers. Can’t take Brufen because of my asthma. Big old bummer, because they are such effective painkillers. I can take Cocodamol though, and am at the doctor’s next week so might mention it then.

However I re-arranged the pedicure, which was going to be tomorrow, and have cried off the knitting get together tonight. Will see if I am able to get to the sewing course on Saturday – I’d really like to go, because it’s making a Japanese Knot Bag and matching purse, but if I’m not up to it, then I’m just not.

Such decisions sound a bit sad, but in fact once I’ve decided that I need to cancel stuff, I actually feel a bit better about things. Not exactly in control of my health, just managing it better. I don’t like to feel that it’s managing me. Even though it probably is. Mm.

I’ve been sleeping a lot. Most of Tuesday. Managed to have a shower and wash my hair on Wednesday. Then had a half hour sit down, and did my ironing. I do it every week, and hubby does his own, so it only takes about 25 minutes maximum. Then lunch, and then did the online shop. So quite a lot achieved yesterday. But the afternoon sleeps are long. At least three hours, sometimes four. Then I sleep all night too.

Might consider a bath and face pack tomorrow. Will see how I wake up. I very, very rarely have a bath. We have some nice bubble bath though and it does help relax my back.

I have two go-to authors whose books I read when I feel like this. Bill Bryson, who is just one of my favourite writers, and Tom Cox. Ditto. Can’t help smiling as I read their stuff.

Retail therapy always helps too, so have ordered a couple of tops (reduced) from Warehouse. Two different colours, and two different sizes, so we shall see if I like the colours and if they fit.

Hubby is off to a meeting tonight so I shall watch some crappy tv. No knitting mojo at all at the moment, and booked in for steroid injections into the knuckles of my right hand on Monday. Will see how things go after that.

Christmas almost organised. Thank goodness for the internet. A bit of baking to do, but nothing major. Last year I did a Yule Log which is fat free, therefore dairy free. It was delicious and both hubby and I liked it, which is a bonus. He doesn’t like fruit cake so if I made a proper Christmas cake I’d just eat it all and put on loads of weight. And am going to do some mince pies only in filo pastry as I have some in the freezer. Everybody else can eat normal ones from the shop, but the dairy free ones from the shop tend to be cheap and nasty.

Miscellany

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Things have calmed down a little.

The garden is beautiful at the moment, and the sun is currently shining.

Went to the knitting group on Thursday with my friend, who isn’t often able to come, so that was really nice. Finished off a small project, but as it’s a gift no photo yet.

The cat came limping up the garden yesterday on three legs, with one leg held high, up by her face. Both hubby and I thought she was seriously injured, until I got up close to her and discovered one paw was stuck through her collar. Easily sorted and no harm done. Really not sure how she managed that though.

Watching the Women’s Football World Cup – it’s just so exciting. Last night’s match, France v USA, was really good. Can’t knit while watching football, though, too fraught.

In fact, not knitting for a few days now because of a swollen and sore knuckle. It’s settling now I’m resting it.

And I’m resting everything today, because the temperature is set to soar. Not as high as in France or Spain, because, well, Britain, but high for us. Anything over about 24C and I’m lounging around drinking cold water in my pjs.

Re-reading Song of Achilles – at the time I was really struck by it and loved it. But re-reading it I have absolutely no recollection of it. Also reading Siege by Michael Wolff. Dynamite. Really enjoyed Fire and Fury too.

Trivia, or How I Manage My Life

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When I was young, I didn’t have very much confidence about whether my feelings, choices, the things I liked and disliked, were ok. Partly because my childhood was spent not knowing when I would next cross an invisible “transgression” or “naughty” line.

As I’ve got older, though, bit by bit, I’m slightly more sure about things. As long as they don’t adversely affect anyone else, I think it’s ok that I gave up wearing nail varnish 30 years ago. It was such a huge relief. I’m crap at applying it, then within the hour I’ve smeared or chipped it, and it was just a pain in the neck. So I don’t do it any more. And along with such small but effective changes, here’s a short list of the things I do/don’t do to make my life a little easier. Just in case anybody else out there has the same sort of uncertainty.

  • I don’t “do” afternoons. I sleep in the afternoons. No outings, no meetings. Very occasional and special exceptions, for example my niece’s wedding party soon.
  • Not going to buy cakes, even dairy-free ones, when I have a cup of tea in a café. They are usually a disappointment, apart from particular ones (Costa’s dairy & gluten free Christmas cake, Starbuck’s dairy & gluten free brownies – as long as they’re still wrapped), so I just end up feeling guilty for eating a cake and worse for having spent the money and not enjoyed it.
  • Currently “off” coffee. I can only drink decaffeinated anyway, or I end up shaking and bouncing off the walls. So I’ve decided it’s fine to just drink tea. Black, weak, no sugar, thank you.
  • Not going to feel guilty any more if I can’t do any knitting, either because my hands are swollen and tired, or because my brain just isn’t working.

And so on. Small things, but each decision taken lifts a weight off my shoulders.

What? over a month!

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My last blog was 11th January. Can’t believe it! time flies, does it not.

The weather here, as you will know wherever you live, assuming it’s been on your news, is appalling. We live in the Midlands, and although it’s very wet, we have no significant flooding. It has been raining for weeks and weeks without stopping. It’s cold, miserable, and depressing. Spare a thought for the folks whose houses have been flooded with smelly river water, raw sewage, and who have had to go and stay elsewhere. The emergency services have been doing a sterling job, even the army has been called in to help. There is some frustration and resentment because there’s a feeling that London gets all the attention, so as soon as the Thames starts to flood, and all the posh people in their posh houses are being flooded, that’s when things start to happen. Meanwhile, in the south-west and the north, things have been dreadful for weeks.

I’ve been busy too. Knitting intermittently (wonky hands), made a couple of greetings cards, back episode (involving a trip to the osteopath), M.E. crash, but life seems to be looking up a little now. I am being more strict about how much I do each week, and make sure I have at least two days with nowhere to go. I set myself little tasks each day – for example, on Wednesday I ordered the week’s shopping on line, and made two greetings cards. That was enough. Thursday – I did two small sewing repair jobs and typed up the minutes of a meeting. Plenty.

My hands are very dry, as well as wonky. I guess the weather isn’t helping. But it’ll pass. And I have lots of hand cream.

The cat is currently going bonkers. Each day, about this time, she goes into a sort of manic mode, jumping about, scampering everywhere, chasing her tail and making a lot of noise. We just let her get on with it. All the cats I have ever known do this.

I am picking up my new glasses on Monday. Ridiculously excited about it. Then I’m going to potter around Solihull and see if I can find some thick black tights to wear with my longer tunics and my little Ugg-style boots. YD has been on and on at me for years to try and get me to do this, but I didn’t have any tunics long enough.  Now I do. Not really a leg person. Have worn nothing but trousers for over 20 years now, apart from very hot days, which involve long skirts. So an adventure, taking me slightly out of my comfort zone.

Report on degree of success with this to follow . . .

Gaaaagh! December already!

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Luckily I’m just a tad obsessive and am all ready for Christmas. It’s just hubby and me this year, which will be lovely. Seeing family before and after though, which will also be really nice.

Knitting – going well. The physio is definitely helping my hands. I have exercises to do, and once a week they massage the hands and treat them with ultrasound. Excellent. I’m knitting the last Christmas present at the moment, everything else is done. Just need to sort out the baking I’m going to do. I have the ingredients for the cake (this year it’s going to be the dairy-free, egg-free fruit cake, one with marzipan in the middle for me, one without for hubby). Need to sort out the mince pies pastry and enough flour and eggs for the cakes I’m taking to various family dos. Exciting.

I’ve also been crocheting. Nothing large, and no photos yet (don’t want to spoil anybody’s surprise . . .) but I am quite pleased. Results have been blocked, starched, and are currently drying.

Did a bit of gardening this morning – only about 45 minutes. The dead rudbeckias looked horrible, and so did the asters, so they’ve had a severe cutting back. Also dug up an old dead no-longer-ornamental grass, and picked loads of moss off the soil. I’ve filled three large tubtrugs but that’s ok. We need to take a trip to the tip this week anyway.

Saw my great-nephew last week. He is just delightful. Crawling, cruising, almost walking, and such a happy little soul.

Finally, here is a photo of the cat. This is where we find her when we’ve been out, and she’s been in, confined to the kitchen and utility. She has food, water, toys and her tray in there, so it’s like a little bed-sit for a cat. But she just goes into her little bed.

Image

Bless her little heart.

Back to normality.

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The kitchen has stayed exactly the same. There is more tiddling about to do, but I have been so busy!

On Hallowe’en hubby’s ES and his three children came to stay. ES took so much trouble – a bowl of custard and a bowl of porridge, both with “things” in – tinned peach slices, plastic spiders, worms, etc – for them to feel through holes in a cardboard box, in low lighting, one at a time. All four had faces painted to look scary – 2 x zombies, lizard, and scary doll. I don’t need bags painted under my eyes, I have my own.

It was absolutely lovely. The children are always a joy, and ES is fun, good company, and easy to be around.

Then on Friday it was hubby’s birthday, and what a delight to have family to celebrate with. On Saturday, YS and the other two grandchildren came, and the two children stayed overnight. We all went out for a meal which was great fun. Not much sleeping was done by children, but that’s what happens on sleepovers when you have two 12 year-olds and two 9 1/2 year-olds. The four year old slept though!

Healthwise – am having physiotherapy on my wonky hands, and it seems to be helping. ECG tomorrow to make sure my heart is ok. Cholesterol, after four months of drastically reduced cheese intake, had gone up from 6.1 to 6.8. Gaaaagh! so I’m continuing with the reduced cheese thing, have given up goat yoghurt with jam and have bought soya flavoured pretend yoghurts instead, and am having porridge for breakfast, made with oats and soya milk. It’s delicious. Will see how that affects the cholesterol. Bah.

My back, however, for the last week, has been horrible. Very painful. Painkillers, hot packs, cold packs, today osteopath (and she wants to see me next week as well, because there is swelling from waist to hips), and have taken two Tramadol today, which always help. A lot. And I can take two Paracetamol at 6 pm then two more Tramadol at bedtime, which should mean tomorrow is much better.

Knitting – ups and downs. Was knitting a lovely shawlette for a Christmas present, but the yarn wasn’t very good. It was expensive, but looked like it was pilling as I knitted it. Sent a photo to the suppliers, who refunded me straight away. I was very impressed with their service, but now don’t have time to knit the shawlette for said Christmas present. But I have another idea, so that’s ok. And will start that particular present earlier next year, with different yarn.

Crochet workshop yesterday – granny squares. I was able to do them, but now I’m able to do better ones. And triangles! Triangles, no less! very pleased.

Went to Stitch & Sip today.  I’ve knitted almost all of a little hooded top for a baby, but am having problems with the second sleeve. Twice I’ve got to the top, then had to rip it all the way down to the cast off for the decreasing. But I know what I’ve been doing wrong, and should get that done tonight. So when I came home from Stitch, I had less knitting than when I started! but it was fun anyway.

That’s about it for now, more when there is more to tell.