Yesterday I was very low. It was 41 years since my dad died suddenly, and I do wonder if it’s normal to feel so sad after so long. My sister assured me that as long as I don’t feel that bad all the time, it’s probably ok. Then it occurred to me that Dad acted as a buffer between me and Mother, and he curbed her more difficult behaviour. So when he died, that was all gone. Oddly, having realised that helps me understand why I miss him so much. Also, it probably wasn’t the best idea to digitise more slides yesterday. There are photos in there of him I’ve never seen, and nostalgia plus grief aren’t the best of companions.
Add to that the pain in my stupid arthritic hands, and you have the perfect storm. Took two Co-codamol (30/500) at bedtime and it took two hours for the pain to go away. I was actually in tears with it.
But. Today I have had a telephone consultation with the doctor, and have a new pain analgesia regime. Paracetamol in the day, then two Co-codamol in the evening, every day, regularly, to keep the pain at bay. It feels slightly counter-intuitive, but as the pain is constant, it does make sense.
Made chocolate fudge brownies this morning. Thank goodness for the electric hand mixer. They smell divine and I can’t wait to have one after lunch.
Ordered some new lipstick – I’m not a big make up wearer, but the one I ordered is Clinique, and it’s called Bare Pop. It’s just exactly right for me. And while I was on the John Lewis site, I treated myself to some Chanel No 5 perfume spray. A big treat. I have always loved it. Always.
So now I’m awaiting a couple of tops from Seasalt Cornwall, lipstick, perfume, and also ordered some emery boards (can’t get them from our supermarket!) Just the anticipation cheers me up. Shallow, much? Don’t care. Needed cheering up, and various sorts of retail therapy always help.
Will go for a short walk after lunch. Yesterday it was pouring with rain so I didn’t go.
And it’s my friend Réjane’s birthday today. Joyeux Anniversaire, mon amie.