Cheering up.

Yesterday I was very low. It was 41 years since my dad died suddenly, and I do wonder if it’s normal to feel so sad after so long. My sister assured me that as long as I don’t feel that bad all the time, it’s probably ok. Then it occurred to me that Dad acted as a buffer between me and Mother, and he curbed her more difficult behaviour. So when he died, that was all gone. Oddly, having realised that helps me understand why I miss him so much. Also, it probably wasn’t the best idea to digitise more slides yesterday. There are photos in there of him I’ve never seen, and nostalgia plus grief aren’t the best of companions.

Add to that the pain in my stupid arthritic hands, and you have the perfect storm. Took two Co-codamol (30/500) at bedtime and it took two hours for the pain to go away. I was actually in tears with it.

But. Today I have had a telephone consultation with the doctor, and have a new pain analgesia regime.  Paracetamol in the day, then two Co-codamol in the evening, every day, regularly, to keep the pain at bay. It feels slightly counter-intuitive, but as the pain is constant, it does make sense.

Made chocolate fudge brownies this morning. Thank goodness for the electric hand mixer. They smell divine and I can’t wait to have one after lunch.

Ordered some new lipstick – I’m not a big make up wearer, but the one I ordered is Clinique, and it’s called Bare Pop.  It’s just exactly right for me.20200429_114730 And while I was on the John Lewis site, I treated myself to some Chanel No 5 perfume spray.  A big treat. I have always loved it. Always.

So now I’m awaiting a couple of tops from Seasalt Cornwall, lipstick, perfume, and also ordered some emery boards (can’t get them from our supermarket!) Just the anticipation cheers me up. Shallow, much? Don’t care. Needed cheering up, and various sorts of retail therapy always help.

Will go for a short walk after lunch. Yesterday it was pouring with rain so I didn’t go.

And it’s my friend Réjane’s birthday today. Joyeux Anniversaire, mon amie.

 

Mixed Feelings

I do enjoy Christmas these days, but this particular one was sadder than usual. A good friend of my daughters (they went to school together), was killed on 15th December in a hit and run accident, near where he lived, in London. The police are searching for the culprit. The randomness, and the casual cruelty, of just driving off when it must be blindingly obvious you’ve just hit somebody in your car, is hard to stomach.

He spent a lot of time during his teenage years at our house. He was fun, extremely bright, multi-talented, excellent with my girls’ sibling rivalry, very good at defusing potentially awkward situations (just one example -when ED told him, in front of YD, that YD fancied him, he smiled, said Ooh how lovely. Thank you. And so YD stopped writhing with embarrassment and felt good about it).

In recent years his life and my daughters’ lives had taken different paths and we didn’t see so much of him. But we are all so sad. We loved him. He was good, and funny, and kind. But mixed in with the sadness is the awareness of how much worse this is for his immediate family. As a mother I can only begin to imagine how his mother must feel. The world is a lesser place without him. RIP Andy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hubby cooked up a storm yesterday for our Christmas lunch. Absolutely fabulous meal. Mother came, and so did YD, her hubby, and baby ESW, who will be one year old in just over two weeks. Lovely.

Now that some of the knitting has been given to the recipients, here are a few photos of the projects.